your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
