the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
