I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
