Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize