I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
