Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Congratulations! We have a period
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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