FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
