One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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