my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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