plz talk dirty to me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
