this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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