my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
