Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
