I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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