k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
