Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
