You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
