Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
