yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
