i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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