I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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