3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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