Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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