Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
