If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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