Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
