Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Say something about gay babies.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
