No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize