I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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