Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
