Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
