How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
