his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
