Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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