oh god the rape fog is back!
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
