I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Randomize
