Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
