I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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