She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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