come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
