just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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