I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
