oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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