Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
How external is "for external use only"?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
