Jerry, you need to find god
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
