Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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