My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize