**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
