I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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