Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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