She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
