we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
