I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
