We won't sleep together?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
