So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
