Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
