Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
