id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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