You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
