Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize