Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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