i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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