In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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