we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize